I like this one;
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best
patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants
on my operating table, because you open them up,
everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think
librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in
alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like
construction workers. Those guys always understand
when you have a few parts left over at the end and
when the job takes longer than you said it would."
BUT - the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he
observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the
easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no
spine, and the head and ass are interchangeable." :+

(© The Guardian)

don't know who that is but I'm assuming, a front-bottom? ;)

LOL

I don't know who it is either, but Freespirit it would help if I could figure out what a "front-bottom" is?

Here's a political joke (gets me every time):

GW Bush actually said "noocyooler" and "subliminable" on national tv! What a hoot!

edit: "NUKE-Yoo-ler"!!! HAHAHA!!~!!

Wouldn't you think his wife, the teacher, would correct him? And he calls himself the "education President". Jeeeez.

You're going to have to ask one of our British friends, here, what a front-bottom is. Took me a long time to figure it out, after a lengthy question and answer session on a British forum. They were always calling each other that, so I finally decided to ask for a translation. There should be a British/American english translation dictionary. They have some really strange expressions.

http://www.english2american.com/

Great! Added it to my faves. One thing, though; the expression in question is not in there. I've emailed the site, asking them to add it.

Heres a good one:
A man was walking along a beach in Northern Australia when he happened upon an old bottle.
He picked up the bottle and gave it a wipe trying to read the brand when out popped a genie.He said "I will grant you one wish".The man said "I would like to take my kids to Disneyland so how about a bridge to North America".The genie then replied: "hmmm a bit hard I think how about another choice". The man then asks if the genie could make all the politicians in Canberra honest,to which the genie replies:"Would that bridge be one lane or two?"

Q. How do you know when a politician is lying?
A. When he moves his lips.

Oh, come on!!!
If a back bottom (U.K) is a Fanny (U.S.)
Then a Front bottom (U.K.) MUST be a vxxxxa!
So there!!

I see what you're saying. The only trouble is, in the UK, a fanny is a front-bottom!

An engineer, a physicist, and a politician were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The politician was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"

A doctor, an architect, and a politician were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog. The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, "Hippocrates, come!" Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts. The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, "Sliderule, come!" Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie. The politician watched the other two dogs, and called "Bullshit, come!" Bullshit entered and was told to do his stuff. Bullshit immediately sodomized the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members (fund raising, you know) and went outside to play golf.

WALDO

Love the reply by Winston Churchill when Lady Astor said he was drunk. He said "Madam you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober!!"

Well, as the saying goes: "They all look good at 2:A.M!!
Course, then you wake up and it's like....AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
(sometimes).

Silly. That's not lady Astro, it's Bill J Clinton.



"Who took my M&Ms out of the freezer!?"