I have to agree with Arlene on this call. On the one hand I really feel for the guy if he is trying, but I know what it is like to be around someone like this. My brother did the same to his wife and she wound up dead (she passed away on the operating table during open heart surgery at age 34). I still feel in my heart that he killed her through violence, drinking, neglect and worry for her two children. I am sorry to sell your hubby's soul down the river, but you should run like the wind from this loser. You can spend the rest of your life trying to "understand" his problems, and its not going to buy you anything but grief. Real men have problems too, but they are related to their worries as to how they will provide for their loved ones, not to trying to find their next drink or their next victim. That is what you will be if you don't get out and away (really really away) soon, a victim. I have a real bad feeling about this Brenda. I hope you make it kid!:-(