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‘Twas the night before Christmas
The condo was serene,
The only thing stirring
Was the food-processing machine…
Fred the mouse, in the kitchen,
Was fixing some eggnog.
He’d hung up his big stocking
And plugged in the Yule log.
The tree was ablaze;
Subtle it was not;
It lit up the place
Like a used car lot.
Phil and Shirley in their water bed
Played footies and giggled,
Watching cable TV
While the bed sloshed and jiggled.
Then out in the night,
A strange noise filled the air.
It spooked Phil and Shirley---
Really gave them a scare
Phil shot out of bed,
Stuck his toe through the spread.
The bed sprang a leak
And soaked Shirley’s curly head.
To the window they raced,
Soaking wet and uptight.
What they saw was amazing
An incredible sight!
And what did they see
Through their startled eyes.
But eighty sweaty elves
Pulling a tub through the skies.
With a whisker faced driver,
Relaxing up there,
Soaking in a hot tub
As it soared through the air!
The hot tub zoomed down
Through the clouds in a flash,
Landing on the lawn
With a lurch and a splash.
He yelled at the elves,
In his eyes was a gleam,
Oh Reggie! Oh Bruce!
What a group! What a team!
Then, whoosh, to the rooftop
They sped with a shout.
Phil and Shirley were in shock…..
They were really stressed out!
Phil yelled to the group,
You’re invading our space!
If you’re delivering a pizza,
You’ve got the wrong place!
Before Shirley could shout,
Hey, cool it, all right!?”
The dude in the hot tube
Jumped through the skylight!
This Santa was different,
He was obviously no hick,
A real mellow Santa.
A kind of laid-back St. Nick
As he walked in the room,
Phil and Shirl were impressed
By his charm and his manner
And the way he was dressed.
He was listening to carols
On his earphone speakers,
And he looked casual but trendy
In his designer sneakers.
“Hey Folks!” he called out,
Flashing a smile,
“What it is, how ya been?
Let’s party awhile!!
Christmas is sharing,
And that’s why I’m here.
“Let’s get with the spirits,
Share some fun and good cheer!!”
They all jumped in the hot tub,
The whole spacey crew,
Phil and Shirley, the elves,
And Santa Clause, too
Then Santa said, “WOW!
This sure has been kicks!
But me and my elves
Gotta hit the bricks!”
He snapped his fingers and said,
“Step on it, crew!”
Then up through the skylight
Like a rocket they flew!!
As the hot tub took off
He yelled “HO! HO! HO!
Keep SMILIN’! Enjoy!
And go with the flow!
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night!”
And with that Phil and Shirley
Watched him zip out of site!!
Have a crazy little Christmas! *winks* And, Happy Hannukah too! *smiles*
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"A woman's heart is an ocean of secrets."
Rose Dawson; from the movie "Titanic"
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