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Subject: "Men vs. Women" Previous topic | Next topic
zackjizSat Oct-05-02 08:25 AM
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"Men vs. Women"


  

          

Yeah, this's the same thing I posted on BBT. So if you saw it there, then no need to see it twice . If not, enjoy!

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


-Zack



System Configuration

  

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Replies to this topic
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: Men vs. Women
Oct 05th 2002
1
RE: Men vs. Women
Oct 05th 2002
2
RE: Men vs. Women
Oct 05th 2002
3
      RE: Men vs. Women
May 22nd 2003
Educational classes for guys ;)
Oct 06th 2002
4
RE: Educational classes for guys ;)
Oct 06th 2002
5
We all know this is true
Oct 08th 2002
6
RE: Educational classes for guys ;)
Oct 08th 2002
7
RE: Men vs. Women
May 22nd 2003
8

SonnySat Oct-05-02 09:02 AM
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#1. "RE: Men vs. Women"
In response to zackjiz (Reply # 0)


  

          



Support PCQandA


  

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andrini2000Sat Oct-05-02 09:51 AM
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#2. "RE: Men vs. Women"
In response to Sonny (Reply # 1)


  

          

LOL. That is funny!!
Somebody on 60 minutes did a research at some college a while back.
It was on sex.
2 groups, men and women.
All the men who were approached by women wanting to sleep with them, immediately said...o.k.
While none of the women did when approached by a man.
Just goes to show ya what we (men) think with.
Well, maybe.



Gravity....not just a good idea, it's the law!
My Magic

  

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MrManSat Oct-05-02 09:55 AM
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#3. "RE: Men vs. Women"
In response to Sonny (Reply # 1)


  

          

I stole this from somebody over at forums.somethingawful.com:


  

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zoidpOpThu May-22-03 01:51 AM
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"RE: Men vs. Women"


          

this one cracked me up

duck

Attachment #1, (jpg file)

  

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DaDwarfsSun Oct-06-02 06:12 PM
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#4. "Educational classes for guys ;)"
In response to zackjiz (Reply # 0)


          

CLASSES FOR MEN AT OUR LOCAL LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS -

SIGN-UP BY MAY 25TH


Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents,each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.

TOPIC 1

HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS.
Step by step, with slide presentation.
~~~~~~~
TOPIC 2

THE TOILET PAPER ROLLS: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Round-table discussion.
~~~~~~~
TOPIC 3

IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP
AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR / WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?
Group practice.
~~~~~~
TOPIC 4

FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.
~~~~~~
TOPIC 5

THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK?

Examples on video.
~~~~~~
TOPIC 6

LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
Helpline support and support groups.
~~~~~~
TOPIC 7

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT
PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum
~~~~~~
TOPIC 8

HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
Graphics.
~~~~~~
TOPIC 9

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real-life testimonials.
~~~~~~~
TOPIC 10

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation.
~~~~~~~
TOPIC 11

LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MOTHER AND WIFE.
Online class and role-playing.
~~~~~~~
TOPIC 12

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
~~~~~~~
TOPIC 13

HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS,
ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPON COMPLETION OF THE COURSE DIPLOMAS WILL BE ISSUED TO THE SURVIVORS.

Da Dwarfs
_________________________
*************************
UD Crunching in memory of

Freddie (1949-1990)
Miss ya bro

Vicky (1960-2002)
You fought long and hard

PEACE


  

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npmclSun Oct-06-02 09:30 PM
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#5. "RE: Educational classes for guys ;)"
In response to DaDwarfs (Reply # 4)


  

          

That's really funny and to the point!

  

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RoperaTue Oct-08-02 08:57 AM
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#6. "We all know this is true"
In response to npmcl (Reply # 5)


          


  

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smellystudentTue Oct-08-02 12:20 PM
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#7. "RE: Educational classes for guys ;)"
In response to DaDwarfs (Reply # 4)


          

TOPIC 3

IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP
AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR / WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?


I really want to know who designs toilet seats that won't stay in the upright position. It really does make life a lot harder than it needs to be...

  

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DaDwarfsThu May-22-03 01:51 AM
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1289 posts
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#8. "RE: Men vs. Women"
In response to zackjiz (Reply # 0)


          

When we women love something we do it with PASSION
And leave no stone unturned

Da Dwarfs
__________________________
*************************
UD/PC911 Crunching in memory of

Freddie (1949-1990)
Miss ya bro

Vicky (1960-2002)
You fought long and hard

PEACE


Attachment #1, (gif file)

  

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