Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if...

*your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
*he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
*you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
*he refers to Klingons as "Critters"
*he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
*he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
*he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
*he says, "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
*he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
*he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
*he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
*he says, "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
*he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
*he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
*he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
*he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
*he paints the starship John Deere green
*he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
*he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
*his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
*he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
*his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
*he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
*his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies
*he sets phaser to "Cajun"

Good one Brenda! And there I was expecting a French joke about Jean-Luc Picard... :+