Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if...
*your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month *he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles *you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob" *he refers to Klingons as "Critters" *he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns" *he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil *he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section *he says, "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies" *he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen *he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle *he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it *he says, "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage" *he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser *he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba" *he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster" *he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens *he paints the starship John Deere green *he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special" *he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp" *his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale *he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen" *his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls *he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge *his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies *he sets phaser to "Cajun"
