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all,
as sid guessed correctly in his 'wake-up call' post, yes, i am considering shutting the forum down. let me share some thoughts with you why.
the current level of negativity, flames, insults, and disrespect in the forum is only a part of it. i personally believe that if i spent more time here every day with a gentle hand and a watchful eye, i could probably help contribute to a better atmosphere and a more positive mood.
however, that requires a lot of work and time from my end which i don't think i have at this point. after pouring almost all my free time into the site for over 3 years, earlier this year i took a step back to take a breather. it worked partially, in as far as that i got interested in again a month or so ago and had fun writing some reviews and articles, which was how the site was started originally. but as soon as i spent more time here again i saw all the ##### that happened, i had to do more maintenance work and other unpleasant or boring/repetitive/unproductive tasks, taking away my motivation and time to do the helping people part. all that pretty much sums up in the fact that there is not much fun left in running the site after almost 4 years. and when a hobby stops being fun and turns into a chore, it's time to stop.
there is more though. not only have i been more or less running this site for almost 4 years now, for the last 5 years in my career i've also done tech support and helpdesk-type work. quite frankly, i'm getting burned out on it. i'm not saying i'm bored and i know it all, hell no. however, i am still young and relatively new in this career. i need to make the next step. i am looking into getting more into networking and security, as well as getting more certifications. this requires time and effort, and i feel i cannot fully dedicate myself to it with the presence of PC911.
i know this is a very selfish attitude, but at this point i'm not getting anything out of pc911 anymore. sure, there is the occasional ego stroke, but that's about it. as explained above, the fun is almost gone, there was never any money on it, and it sure as hell is not helping my career. i don't even want to mention the toll it has taken on my life and the relationship with my wife, who has been amazingly patient and supportive over the years, a big thanx to her for that.
i was in the hospital for a week in august with a spontaneously collapsed lung, which also gave me some time to think. no worries, i've recovered fully, i ran 5 miles today. but something like this makes you think about life and whether it's really worth it to waste time on things that give you grief or hold you back.
i also haven't dedicated enough time and effort to the site to make it what it should be at this stage. this site is very basic and primitive, and far from the good professional site it could be. i look at ars, anandtech, toms hardware, etc. and see how a computer should be run. pc911 is mediocre at best. the backend is primitive, some of the content is outdated, some of the features are done half-assed, etc. the problem is that i never planned for the site to be what it is, i've been flying by the seat of my pants the whole time. as a result, the site is getting more outdated and falling behind every day, just as the forum is getting out of hand, both in quality and quantity. both requires a lot more attention than i, or anybody else for that matter, is willing to give it.
i realize i only have myself to blame for most of this. i've been too nice, have not shown enough leadership, and not put enough effort into it to make it a real success. when i realized it, it was too late to change things because people were used to the way it was and it was too hard to change. it's also impossible to make every single person happy, which i tried for too long, and only resulted in me being unhappy.
at this point i'm sure lots of you are gonna protest and tell me that i'm wrong about what i said, that you think the site is great, that everything is just dandy, that things will be ok, etc. and i appreciate everybody's support. of course we all love to see the posts from happy and grateful viewers, and we all have a collection of literally hundreds of thank-you emails and posts.
the fact is that there are lots of good people visiting this site every day. i truly appreciate their support over the years, and i am very sorry if i'm hurting or disappointing you with the conclusions i've come to realize. i am very grateful for the friendships here, as my wife said today you are my second circle of friends. it's this group of people who kept us motivated and going this far.
then there are people who visited us who had absolutely nothing to contribute, and came here with the sole purpose of causing trouble, provoking fights, flaming people, and were an all around waste of bandwidth. i realize that comes with the territory, but they should have not been tolerated as long as they were. to all of those ##### munchs that fall into that category goes out a hearty "##### you and the isp you rode in on!"
of course the site would've never become what it is without the team. i can't begin to express my gratitude for what they've contributed to the site and for putting up with my cranky (ex-)german ##### for so long.
this is turning into another one of those novels, sorry about that, hope you're not cross-eyed yet. i felt i had to share this with everybody so you know where i'm coming from. this is not a rash decision cause i'm pissed off. maybe the events over the last month or so were the final straw, i don't know and it doesn't really matter. i've been close to this point several times. this time i spent a week of serious topic on this issue, and the more i thought about it, the clearer it became.
i haven't thought the logistics through yet, but i will post more info here as i work things out.
to quote holly hunter's character penny in 'o brother...':
"i've spoken my peace and counted to three."
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