This should end all the discussion and arguments that are so visible on our forum.Perfect solution
$ $ $ $ $ (WARNING!) BREAKING NEWS: NATIONAL HEALTH PLAN'S "CASH FOR CODGERS"
Both Republicans and Democrats, realizing the success of the "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of the proposed National Health Care Plan. President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this announcement at a joint news conference later this week. Fortunately, we've obtained an advanced copy of the proposal, which is named:
"CASH FOR CODGERS"
It'll work like this. If a couple wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child, they'd be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be determined according to a sliding scale.
Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts. Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 30 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and member of the Republican Party.
If they work things right they'll have enough "codger credits" to cover expenses like a tonsillectomy, broken arm or other childhood medical expenses.Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soft drinks, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, bacon, Brussels sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies. All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they're not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.
This Cash for Codgers program will expire in 60 days or when the supply of codgers has reached less than one-percent of the population.